Author: qjoq.com

My mate got his lower body blown off and had to leave the navy He tried to get a job in a warehouse but was turned down because he wasn’t a wholesailer.

I watched man on fire today. In retrospect I should have called the fire brigade.

I got stung by a bee yesterday. 20 for a jar of honey! Outrageous.

My anti-itching powder hasn’t worked……….. So i’m starting again from scratch.

My Geordie Nan said she’d heard Zsa Zsa Gabor had just become ECO friendly. I said, “Nan, I think you’ll find she’s gangrene?” “That’s what I heard.”

“Where there’s a whim, there’s a way.” ~ The Law of the Jungle (The Mighty Jungle).

Selling an Xbox game online, just got a message asking why I’ve put collection only due to size and weight? I said I’m morbidly obese and can’t get to the post office.

Inflation has gone up yet again. 30p to do all my car tyres now.

My Motorhead tribute band has just released its first single, in support of Comic Relief. We’ve called it ‘Race of AIDS’.