My Venus fly trap eats an …
My Venus fly trap eats anything from plastic to tin and turns it into toys. It’s a recycling plant.
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Civil aviation is making …
Civil aviation is making miracles: your breakfast in Rome, your lunch in London, your dinner in New York, your luggage in Bangladesh.
Continue ReadingJust bought a new wooden …
Just bought a new wooden car. Wooden wheels, wooden seats, wooden roof, wooden boot, wooden doors, wooden steering wheel, wooden engine, wouldn’t start
Continue ReadingMy mate dug up what he th …
My mate dug up what he thought were onions from his allotment yesterday. He cooked them in with his dinner. Turns out they were daffodil bulbs, and made him so ill it hospitalised him. He’s ok though, he’s due out in spring.
Continue ReadingWindows internet explorer …
Windows internet explorer private browsing function…… Useless if you forget the tissues to wipe the keyboard after you finish
Continue ReadingRambling. Jewellery for s …
Rambling. Jewellery for sheep.
Continue ReadingMy friends pointed out th …
My friends pointed out that I have developed an obsession with making lists. So i wrote down some method’s of how I can stop. 1. …
Continue ReadingThe other day, a little p …
The other day, a little paki boy ran out in front of my car and I hit him. Then I remembered that because I was only doing 30, there was an 80% chance that he would live. So I reversed over him a couple of times, to bring the odds down a bit.
Continue ReadingI was building a really s …
I was building a really scary house the other day. I was literally bricking it.
Continue ReadingI’m the type of person th …
I’m the type of person that likes to think outside the quadrilateral parallelogram
Continue ReadingYou know if you were to s …
You know if you were to second guess your decision to book time to visit a Native American community, that would be a reservation reservation reservation
Continue ReadingThere’s a mysterious neve …
There’s a mysterious never-ending hole in my back garden, and I don’t know why. I just cant get to the bottom of it…
Continue ReadingAVG Anti-virus Website: …
AVG Anti-virus Website: “110 Million People Trust AVG” Yeah, and a further 6.8 Billion people don’t.
Continue ReadingNews: African fruit burns …
News: African fruit burns 12.3 lbs of fat every 28 days Mother Nature, the only woman with a sense of humour
Continue ReadingI could hear the wife moa …
I could hear the wife moaning about a wobbly shelf in the kitchen. I soon fixed that. I turned the telly up.
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