A mans best friends are h …
A mans best friends are his tools. Especially ‘Delete Browsing History.’
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Just killed some flat rou …
Just killed some flat round fish with a sharp tail and had his eyes transplanted in my eye sockets. My ex-ray vision is brilliant.
Continue ReadingA train drivers job is ve …
A train drivers job is very straight forward.
Continue ReadingI changed my car horn to …
I changed my car horn to gun shot sounds… People get out the way much faster now.
Continue ReadingProtesters at the G20 wer …
Protesters at the G20 were holding up huge signs saying ‘Capitalism Isn’t Working’. A friend of mine turned to me and said, “Surely that’s wrong. Surely ‘Capitalism Is Working’.”
Continue ReadingSven Goran Eriksonn admit …
Sven Goran Eriksonn admits interest in Chelsea managerial Vacancy. Me too mate. I cant wait to find out who their next manager will be.
Continue ReadingYou know you’re obsessed …
You know you’re obsessed with Sickipedia when you go on news websites praying for something terrible to have happened.
Continue ReadingSKYNEWS – “Carlos Tevez s …
SKYNEWS – “Carlos Tevez signs lucrative deal to become the new spokesperson of Kettle Crisps.”
Continue ReadingEvery woman has something …
Every woman has something beautiful. In my wife’s case it’s her younger sister.
Continue ReadingI recently found a round, …
I recently found a round, black piece of plastic, with a hole in the middle and grooves on both sides. I picked it up and threw it. It flew for more than 300 yards. I’m sure that must have been a record.
Continue ReadingI was driving along the b …
I was driving along the beach on my first day as a beach safety officer, when I saw a little girl holding a wire. She was thrashing about with a contorted look of pain on her face. Fearing she was being electrocuted, I got a shovel form my 4×4 and hit her with it. Thankfully […]
Continue ReadingCan’t get approval for a …
Can’t get approval for a savings account? Simply move in with a Tourette’s sufferer, introduce a swearbox and watch your investment grow.
Continue ReadingWhat’s yellow and cant sw …
What’s yellow and cant swim? A Bulldozer.
Continue ReadingMy local Tesco has got a …
My local Tesco has got a great offer on at the moment. It’s selling a variety of different trolleys for a pound each – you just put a coin in a slot near the handle and wheel them away.
Continue ReadingMaybe poor people don’t e …
Maybe poor people don’t even like food, we don’t know.
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