I can’t understand why my …
I can’t understand why my local pub has put a ban on aquatic mammals? It serves no porpoise.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
“Let’s order some Chinese …
“Let’s order some Chinese.” “To do what?”
Continue ReadingWhat’s the difference bet …
What’s the difference between an abortion and a McDonald’s big breakfast? The scrambled eggs from McDonald’s are inedible.
Continue ReadingMoat lost his game of Rus …
Moat lost his game of Russian raoulette.
Continue ReadingMy mate works for a mail …
My mate works for a mail order puppet company. He can pack a Punch.
Continue ReadingMy wife’s leaving me beca …
My wife’s leaving me because of my obsession with elephants. I don’t care, I’m even helping to pack her trunk.
Continue ReadingThere was an Asian guy wo …
There was an Asian guy working on airport security when I checked in earlier today. So I strip searched him and put him through the metal detector before sending him on his way.
Continue ReadingMy friend and I are seein …
My friend and I are seeing who can choke them self with a power cable for the longest. He’s still in the lead.
Continue ReadingI think I’d better book m …
I think I’d better book my car in for a service. The “Check Engine” light has stopped working.
Continue ReadingNecessity is the mother o …
Necessity is the mother of invention. But who’s the father? Find out on Jeremy Kyle tomorrow!
Continue ReadingI started a new job yeste …
I started a new job yesterday, and decided to hit the ground running. As I eagerly rushed into the building, I tripped over the step and broke my nose.
Continue ReadingI’m still not sure how I …
I’m still not sure how I feel about that Poets and Criminals club meeting. It had some prose and cons.
Continue ReadingHe who hesitates is alway …
He who hesitates is always walking right in front of me.
Continue ReadingI was walking down the ro …
I was walking down the road with my friend when a hooded youth jumped from a bush and took him hostage. “Give me the phone or your mate gets it” he shouted at me. “My mate can have it” I said, “He’ll give it me back when you’ve gone.”
Continue ReadingWhat I lack in experience …
What I lack in experience I make up for in cliches.
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