I babysat over the weeken …
I babysat over the weekend… Apparently it was lucky to survive
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95% of items that get thr …
95% of items that get thrown into my bin are sticky tissues The other 5% is made up from girls’ feelings, thoughts and opinions.
Continue ReadingIsn’t it funny how in the …
Isn’t it funny how in the word ‘alsatians’ we can find ‘asians’. Yet we can find alsatians in asians too.
Continue ReadingAfter reading some terrib …
After reading some terrible spelling mistakes on Sickipedia, I suggest that some of the contributors should try and improve their spelling by going to school with their girlfriends.
Continue ReadingBBC News: London restaura …
BBC News: London restaurant sells breast milk ice cream named Baby Gaga. With a name like that I’m not convinced it’s just breast milk in there.
Continue ReadingI ran into a few difficul …
I ran into a few difficulties when I first started my business of providing exercise routines for 70’s rock bands. It’s fine now though, I’ve worked out the kinks.
Continue ReadingBBC News: Should the pol …
BBC News: Should the police now have arms? I think it would generally help for driving the cars, holding the nightstick, lifting man-hole covers for storm drains, etc
Continue ReadingFor a cheap, degradable b …
For a cheap, degradable bag – have your wife carry the groceries home.
Continue ReadingMy ex-girlfriend and I me …
My ex-girlfriend and I met each other while running the London Marathon last year. It was a long-distance relationship.
Continue ReadingA Spanish bloke goes in t …
A Spanish bloke goes in to a Chinese Take-away and says, “Can I have sweet and sour badger with badger fried rice please.” The man behind the counter replies, “Ahh, Sett meal for Juan.”
Continue ReadingI can tell whether someon …
I can tell whether someone likes strangers staring at them or not just by looking at them.
Continue ReadingI tried to find a corner …
I tried to find a corner shop this afternoon, but couldn’t find one. I just ended up going round in circles.
Continue ReadingAnd don’t get the Jim Mor …
And don’t get the Jim Morrison Advent Calendar either. The Doors keep breaking on through to the other side.
Continue ReadingGiven the speed at which …
Given the speed at which the human body actually decomposes in the open air, and is completely eaten away by flies, maggots, and bacteria, it seems that all we have to do to survive the zombie apocalypse is just stay indoors for a few days.
Continue ReadingEvening news is where the …
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
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