I’ve heard the news of Ti …
I’ve heard the news of Tiger Woods crash was told to the media by a little birdie..
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I was stalking this woman …
I was stalking this woman for 5 hours the other day when she suddenly turned around and said “Please stop stabbing me with that plant”.
Continue ReadingI decided to use a high-r …
I decided to use a high-risk strategy to dry my washing today. Everything was on the line.
Continue ReadingThe guy who split the ato …
The guy who split the atom is probably thrilled that we use ‘sliced bread’ as our measure of greatness.
Continue ReadingNow, for my next trick, I …
Now, for my next trick, I’m going to turn this Grandfather clock to one hundredth of its original size… Watch…
Continue ReadingMy son asked me where the …
My son asked me where the most dangerous place on earth is. I’m stuck between Iraq/Kandahar place.
Continue ReadingMy granddad’s a chess mas …
My granddad’s a chess master, but after 6 years of playing, I’ve finally won my first game against him. I hope the second game’s shorter though.
Continue ReadingA severed foot is the ult …
A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
Continue ReadingI finally got my tax retu …
I finally got my tax return today. I found an asylum seeker’s wallet.
Continue ReadingI’ve just seen an amazing …
I’ve just seen an amazing black actor on a hit TV show. Crimewatch.
Continue ReadingI would like to take this …
I would like to take this opportunity to thank Dr Bernados, Oxfam and Save The Children for all the good work they do day in day out I haven’t had to purchase any bin liners for at least three years…
Continue ReadingDid you hear about the ra …
Did you hear about the rabbit who washed his thing and couldn’t do a hare with it?
Continue ReadingThere are Two Great Rules …
There are Two Great Rules of Life 1. Never tell everything at once.
Continue ReadingWhat weighs more, a tonne …
What weighs more, a tonne of bricks or a tonne of feathers? Your mum. It was a trick question.
Continue ReadingRecreate the danger of a …
Recreate the danger of a parachute jump in safety by visiting Google Earth and clicking the scroll bar until you reach the ground. Add realism to the exercise by putting a fan on blowing full in your face.
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