I knew I should have take …
I knew I should have taken that fork in the road. Just seen a sign saying there’s a dip ahead.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I sat as my wife was dyin …
I sat as my wife was dying over her bed. “Dave,” she croaked. “Promise me…Promise you’ll make sure our children are well looked after.” “Don’t worry babe,” I replied. “I’ve already got a lovely couple lined up; they’ll be great foster parents.”
Continue ReadingI was filling in for a ma …
I was filling in for a mate last week. He’ll be in big trouble if anyone finds out I’m not a real dentist.
Continue ReadingWhile you were eating you …
While you were eating your turkey dinner today, I hope you spared a moment to think about those who are cold and alone this Christmas. Working. And only getting time and a half.
Continue ReadingThere’s definitely a poin …
There’s definitely a point in catering when a long shelf life becomes a long half-life.
Continue ReadingI drink scotch like its v …
I drink scotch like its vodka.
Continue ReadingElvis Presley died 35 yea …
Elvis Presley died 35 year ago today. It really got me thinking. What sort of time travelling paradox machine does he own.
Continue Reading“[Dubstep] basically soun …
“[Dubstep] basically sounds like constipation therapy”
Continue ReadingBob Diamond shouldn’t be …
Bob Diamond shouldn’t be so worried about getting sacked. Losing your job can be a very Libor rating experience.
Continue ReadingI wore a poncho the other …
I wore a poncho the other day Didn’t see any arm in it.
Continue ReadingI just killed my limousin …
I just killed my limousine driver. I don’t know why, because I have nothing to chauffeur it.
Continue ReadingChatroulette wants to eli …
Chatroulette wants to eliminate nudity. The two remaining users will have a great conversation.
Continue Readingcrastination…I’ll put t …
crastination…I’ll put the “pro” in it later.
Continue ReadingMy mate said that trust w …
My mate said that trust was the most important thing in a friendship, but I don’t believe him.
Continue ReadingMy dad keeps buying bits …
My dad keeps buying bits for his new girlfriends car, I told him not to spoiler.
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