My employee is suing me a …
My employee is suing me after he fell off a ladder at work. This time he went one step too far.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
So, Albert Einstein said …
So, Albert Einstein said that nothing can travel faster than the speed of light. He obviously never trod on a rake.
Continue Reading“Please just remember tha …
“Please just remember that you can’t bring anything sharp onto the aeroplane.” “Oh, I guess I’ll leave my wit at home then.”
Continue ReadingI like my girls with noth …
I like my girls with nothing on but the hoover.
Continue ReadingFrom the BBC Website: WHO …
From the BBC Website: WHO warns against homeopathy use ….. It’s funny I thought Dr Who was a homeo.
Continue ReadingI was filling in my form …
I was filling in my form the other day but ended up going out and getting drunk instead – think I must have taken leave of my census.
Continue ReadingBreakthrough tooth whiten …
Breakthrough tooth whitening treatment that doesn’t cost the earth. Paint your face black.
Continue ReadingApparently, It’s illegal …
Apparently, It’s illegal to impersonate a policeman. So why have we got PCSO’s?
Continue ReadingI was just at my neighbou …
I was just at my neighbours’ house for dinner but I had to leave unexpectedly. They came home.
Continue ReadingWhere do dwarfs go to buy …
Where do dwarfs go to buy jonnys? little woods
Continue ReadingI babysat for my next doo …
I babysat for my next door neighbour last night. After an hour the baby kept crying so I phoned one of my mates for some advice. I said, “It won’t stop crying, what shall I do?” He said, “Just give it a dummy.” I said, “The dummy is filthy dirty.” He said, “In that case, […]
Continue ReadingThe bidet – invented by s …
The bidet – invented by someone who got tired of doing handstands in the shower.
Continue ReadingI just heard my mate Oedi …
I just heard my mate Oedipus swearing at some children. “And you kiss your mother with that mouth?”, I shouted.
Continue ReadingI was shocked when I foun …
I was shocked when I found out that my new girlfriend is a hooker. She looks like more of a scrum half.
Continue ReadingHairy nipples? Should’ve …
Hairy nipples? Should’ve gone to Pec Shavers
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