I woke up with an ache in …
I woke up with an ache in my back this morning. I think there’s a chance that I accidentally slept on top of the TV remote. Well, that’s the impression I got.
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For years I struggled to …
For years I struggled to make a sound when snapping my fingers. Then suddenly it clicked.
Continue ReadingI’ve just murdered my who …
I’ve just murdered my whole family because a cult brainwashed me. At least my conscious is clean.
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I started my new job on a casualty ward yesterday. An emergency patient came in. The doctor checked him over before saying, “I need 50 milligrammes of morphine, STAT!” I gave him the morphine and said, “Bobby Charlton is England’s top goalscorer, with 49 goals.
Continue ReadingBBC News : Internet safet …
BBC News : Internet safety for children targeted The lessons are one element of a new government strategy being unveiled called “Click Clever, Click Safe”. I have changed my user name to CleverSafe…Now I can just sit back and wait for the kids to come to me.
Continue ReadingHead and Shoulders…… …
Head and Shoulders…… For people with really hairy shoulders ………
Continue ReadingUnderstanding the horizon …
Understanding the horizon. It’s beyond me.
Continue ReadingFacebook is in turmoil to …
Facebook is in turmoil today, as the ever famous farmville has been taken out with what is reported as a serious case of foot and mouth.
Continue ReadingThings are really going t …
Things are really going to be rocking in my house tonight One of the legs has fallen off the dining room table.
Continue ReadingI dropped a bag of zipper …
I dropped a bag of zippers in the park today. I got done for fly tipping.
Continue ReadingJust been to the cinema a …
Just been to the cinema and sat with a champion wrestler to the left of me and Simon Weston to the right. I was in between the Rock and a charred face.
Continue ReadingA White Horse walks into …
A White Horse walks into a bar. The barman says, “Here, mate, we’ve got a drink named after you!” The horse says, “What, Steve?”
Continue ReadingI fought in a middle east …
I fought in a middle eastern war in the early 90’s, it was over some drivers, putters and 9 irons, I still have haunting memories of the Golf War.
Continue ReadingPulled off an awesome man …
Pulled off an awesome manoeuvre in my car yesterday. I found a quiet road, got up some speed and slammed into a handbrake turn while still travelling fast enough to set off the speed camera. As it took the photo i even managed to flick the V’s out of the window. So pleased with myself. […]
Continue ReadingIt’s a well known fact th …
It’s a well known fact that Adolf Hitler loved dogs and other animals. He was, after all, a veteran aryan.
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