Author: qjoq.com

My wife crashed into the back of a bus yesterday. She thinks that’s bad, yesterday I rear-ended an escort; He was furious. I had only booked him until dinner.

My mates call me Dr Doolittle. Because every Sunday morning I wake up with a different dog.

I no longer work at my local tattoo parlour. It’s because I got a transfer.

“I went to Pete and Mary’s wedding last week.” “Oh yeah… How did it go?” “It was a cracking day, up until the last hour.” “Petered out?” “No, I outed Peter.”

I’m in the army and my mate keeps telling me there is something going round the camp. How many times do I have to keep telling him it’s the perimeter fence.

I got up this morning and discovered that somebody had written “QWERTY” down the side of my car. I think it’s been keyed.