My girlfriend broke a mir …
My girlfriend broke a mirror. “That’s forty-nine years bad luck,” I said. “Don’t you mean seven?” she asked. “No. That mirror belonged to my dog.”
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Obama really should have …
Obama really should have thought his next campaign through a little bit more, The War Against Terrorism
Continue ReadingI’ve just bought a fairtr …
I’ve just bought a fairtrade chocolate bar from my local shop. You can almost taste the happy Africans
Continue ReadingI turned round to my wife …
I turned round to my wife earlier and told her I’d prefer it if she stopped calling me, “Jelly baby” in public. She nearly bit my head off.
Continue ReadingI saw a picture of my wif …
I saw a picture of my wife on the internet. I showed it to her and asked what I had to ask. “When did we have that computer chair?”
Continue ReadingSo I was round at my nan’ …
So I was round at my nan’s on Sunday for tea and cakes, she’d put on a real good spread but asked me not to talk with my mouth full. SO I CRUMBED ON HER FACE!!!
Continue Reading‘Interest Free Credit’ – …
‘Interest Free Credit’ – What men think of the ‘Woman of The Year Award’.
Continue ReadingWhat’s green and smells o …
What’s green and smells of bacon? Out of date bacon.
Continue ReadingPetsmart have a sale on m …
Petsmart have a sale on mute Parrotts, at 3 each this offer wont be repeated.
Continue ReadingLuggage sales trends are …
Luggage sales trends are determined using case studies.
Continue ReadingI was with my mate in a s …
I was with my mate in a shop the other day and he picked up a really flashy ring. I said to him that he wouldn’t pull it off, he put on anyway. A week later and it’s still on.
Continue ReadingAs I was driving along th …
As I was driving along the motorway I saw an overhead sign that said: “Slow down … animals in the carriageway.” I hope they’ll play “House of the Rising Sun”
Continue ReadingA tourist in Ireland is a …
A tourist in Ireland is annoyed by the slow service in the restaurant. When the waiter finally shuffles up to the table, the tourist says, “Do you by any chance have haemorrhoids?” “Don’t know about that,” says the waiter, “but I’ll ask in the kitchen.”
Continue ReadingDo you like my watch? My …
Do you like my watch? My grandfather sold it to me on his death bed. I gave him a cheque.
Continue ReadingI saw a group of men prot …
I saw a group of men protesting against slices of lemon in their soft drinks. I don’t think Fathers for just ice will take off
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