I had a doubles contest a …
I had a doubles contest at the tennis club last night. I won. My opponent quit after the ‘whiskey round’.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I thought my interview fo …
I thought my interview for the local lifeguard job went well,so imagine my shock when I received the phone call to say I had not been successful. “Can I just ask why I didnt get it?” I asked in an annoyed voice. “Well,you came across really well,but your attire left a lot to be desired” […]
Continue ReadingI can’t seem to get on th …
I can’t seem to get on the Lilt website. It keeps saying it’s refreshing!
Continue Reading– Why do tigers live on t …
– Why do tigers live on their own whereas lions live in prides? – Because Lions aren’t ginger.
Continue ReadingI got an irate call from …
I got an irate call from my telephone company today. “Sir, the bill was 98.11 and you’ve only paid 11 pounds 89!” “Yeah, your Manager told me that would be ok,” I replied. “Well, I have no record of that, Sir.” “Really?” I asked. “He told me if I can’t afford to pay for the […]
Continue Reading“Hi, my name is Vanessa G …
“Hi, my name is Vanessa George and I raised money for children in need, selling videos I made in my play school.”
Continue ReadingGot a date with an archer …
Got a date with an archer tonight. Im all of a quiver.
Continue ReadingI always eat lots of frui …
I always eat lots of fruit to stay healthy but I don’t like apples and pears. That’s why I eat oranges in my ground floor flat.
Continue ReadingTwo pieces of vomit are w …
Two pieces of vomit are walking along the street when one of them stops and starts feeling all emotional and starts crying. The other one asks what is wrong and the first one says: “Oh just sentimental memories – this is where I was brought up”.
Continue ReadingI turned up to my first d …
I turned up to my first day of work at a local restaurant. I walked up to a chef and said, ‘Hey, it’s my first day. What should I do first?’ ‘Wait a second’ he replied. Shortest shift ever.
Continue ReadingIt really shows the stupi …
It really shows the stupidity of the Americans when the Africans speak better English than they do.
Continue ReadingLast night i had an amazi …
Last night i had an amazing dream involving Megan Fox, Jessica Alba, Katy Perry and Cheryl Cole. I beat them all at Monopoly.
Continue ReadingDaily Mail ‘Family of alb …
Daily Mail ‘Family of albino Muslims terrorised after one of them marries a Christian man’ That’s just disturbingly weird and makes me sick to my stomach, who would want to marry a Christian?
Continue ReadingAfter last night’s fight, …
After last night’s fight, does anyone else want to give Harrison a smack? Please form an Audley queue.
Continue ReadingDid you hear about that R …
Did you hear about that Russian guy, who beat Usain Bolt’s 100 metre dash, record? I think his name was Igor Zuminov
Continue Reading