I’ve organised a church b …
I’ve organised a church bazaar but can’t find the keys to unlock the gates. I’m in trouble now. My fete is sealed.
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I recently saw an advert …
I recently saw an advert for a sleep prevention device, thought it was a real eye opener.
Continue ReadingI hit the drink again las …
I hit the drink again last night. It spilt everywhere, the wife was furious!
Continue ReadingI went to my local Spar a …
I went to my local Spar and everyone was doing martial arts.
Continue ReadingI saw this hot girl walki …
I saw this hot girl walking towards me, so I tried to impress her and stood next to this really expensive Ferrari. As she came closer to me….she said, “Excuse me” and got in her car and left.
Continue ReadingThis next song is called …
This next song is called ‘Lego’ Break it down.
Continue ReadingJust saw a sign outside K …
Just saw a sign outside Kwit Fit: “SALE – ALL TYRES SLASHED” Well, no wonder they’re on sale…
Continue ReadingWhats the difference betw …
Whats the difference between RAM and CPU…. You can’t CPU a gibbon.
Continue ReadingMy son tragically lost hi …
My son tragically lost his life over the weekend. He got his finger stuck in a ring.
Continue Reading“I decided to become an o …
“I decided to become an organ donor for my 12 year old daughter last week!” “So, that’s why you stole it from the local church?”, the police officer asked.
Continue ReadingMary had a little lamb, i …
Mary had a little lamb, its fleece was white as snow, Gonzales had a little pig, and a pandemic did follow.
Continue ReadingI have just noticed a lab …
I have just noticed a label on my new headphones that says ‘Insert headphones in ear’ There was me thinking it was a suppository.
Continue Readingspend some time at my dau …
spend some time at my daughters grave today. shes not dead she just thinks im building a sandpit.
Continue ReadingIt’s funny the way when i …
It’s funny the way when i log on Facebook everyone seems to be busy and logs off.
Continue ReadingThe bouncers refused my s …
The bouncers refused my son entry into the local night club because they said he looked like a minor. Mind you, i told him the moleskins, davy lamp, safety helmet and pick axe were a bit of a giveaway.
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