I’m going to sue apple fo …
I’m going to sue apple for false advertising, the guy at the genius bar couldn’t even explain the theory of relativity to me.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I feel awful today. Last …
I feel awful today. Last night I drowned my Sorrows after the England match. Problem is, Sorrows is my cat.
Continue ReadingI think i’m interbred. I …
I think i’m interbred. I love Naan.
Continue ReadingFrench killer may strike …
French killer may strike again. He wants mort.
Continue ReadingI dig graves for a living …
I dig graves for a living. It wasn’t a planned career, I just fell into it.
Continue ReadingWhat’s the worst thing ab …
What’s the worst thing about about a broken calculator in an algebra exam? You do the maths
Continue ReadingMy best friend was a hair …
My best friend was a hairdresser, and he died doing what he loved. Dying.
Continue ReadingI’ll never forget the tim …
I’ll never forget the time when my dad clipped me around the ear for being naughty. I remember walking into school and all the kids were laughing at me saying, “Look at your hair.”
Continue ReadingSurely thinking Positive …
Surely thinking Positive will attract negative things?
Continue ReadingSave money on hair restor …
Save money on hair restorer. Instead simply paint a series of little rabbits on your bald head. From a distance they look like hares.
Continue ReadingKnow any jokes about Sodi …
Know any jokes about Sodium? Na.
Continue ReadingMy wife is leaving me bec …
My wife is leaving me because apparently I’m not ‘man enough’. Well at least now, I will get my turn on the Playstation.
Continue ReadingMen are rather like perio …
Men are rather like periods to a woman, they come and they go, but when she hits a certain age they just stop coming altogether.
Continue ReadingI’m your biggest fan, I’l …
I’m your biggest fan, I’ll follow you until you crash in a tunnel, Pappa, Papparazzi.
Continue ReadingBefore I got into comedy, …
Before I got into comedy, I was a plumber for 150 years – although that’s just an estimate
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