Author: qjoq.com

Going Green: it really is the only way to save the planet. The more rotting, mouldy corpses the better.

I bought a blue cactus the other day, something is definitely wrong with it, but i just can’t put my finger on it…..

My mate insists it’s not him in the photo swimming in the longest river in the world. He’s in denial.

My doctor told me I had O.C.D. I put him right back in his place

My wife asked ‘I dont understand double entendres, can you please fill me in?’

I lost my job in the morgue after I got caught using peoples organs to make tools. My boss said that it was heart wrenching.

I like to steal food from babies, I know I’ll get in big trouble if I get caught. But that’s a rusk I’m willing to take.

I hate Rowers. Always sticking their oar in.

My mate just burst into my room while I was busy working and asked me what the side of someones mouth was called. The cheek.

Rubbed salt and pepper into a hookers eyes the other night. She’s now going round calling herself a seasoned pro.

I managed to get a lie in this morning. I got up really early and told my wife that I loved her.