BBC NEWS: “Heskey to miss …
BBC NEWS: “Heskey to miss next 4 games over knee injury” Once again we find the words “Heskey” and “miss” in the same sentence…
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I’ve just been warned abo …
I’ve just been warned about some Italian domestic graffiti artists. Apparently, they’ll tagliatelle.
Continue ReadingJust finished reading the …
Just finished reading the girl who kicked the hornets nest,it wasn’t that good but the part were she got stung to death was hilarious.
Continue ReadingI find it ironic that you …
I find it ironic that you need a pair off scissors to get into a new pair off scissors
Continue ReadingI think my house is haunt …
I think my house is haunted. I keep hearing moaning coming from my sisters room.
Continue ReadingYou know how they say, “Y …
You know how they say, “You end up looking like your pets”? Well, I reckon my wife is hiding a pet hippo from me.
Continue Reading‘Millions wasted’ on gift …
‘Millions wasted’ on gift cards. Since when have Oddbins been selling gift cards?
Continue ReadingSome people will never ch …
Some people will never change. Like a nun, same clothes everyday.
Continue ReadingYou are what you eat they …
You are what you eat they say. Funny how my missus loves monster munch.
Continue ReadingThe more disappointing co …
The more disappointing counterpart of the house wine is the flat beer.
Continue ReadingI’ll tell you what really …
I’ll tell you what really makes my girlfriend wet. Water.
Continue ReadingI’m a gynaecologist. Or a …
I’m a gynaecologist. Or as I prefer to say – I work in Customer Cervixes.
Continue ReadingWhat’s the difference bet …
What’s the difference between Elvis , and Rudolf Hess ? Elvis didn’t come to Scotland to sing
Continue ReadingI put all my chips on 17 …
I put all my chips on 17 black at the casino last night. Thats when they called for the manager and said I wasn’t allowed to bring food to the roulette table.
Continue ReadingAfter making an account I …
After making an account I clicked on the ‘would you like to get some friends?’ link. It sent me to Amazon for the box set of Friends Season 1-10. I laughed hysterically for a while… …then I realised I was still lonely.
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