Ashley Cole is blaming Ca …
Ashley Cole is blaming Carlo Ancelotti on his latest front page antics. After missing his penalty against everton he misheard when he was told to work on his shoot-out.
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One thing I hate is unpre …
One thing I hate is unpredictable jokes. Said the lion with horse legs.
Continue ReadingFound an old pair of pant …
Found an old pair of pants in my wardrobe today with extra cloth at the bottom. That’s a turn up.
Continue ReadingI distinctly remember one …
I distinctly remember one time my parents talking to me down the phone and saying, if we throw cash away at you now, youll never know the value of money. But I still think it wouldve been nice for them to pay that ransom.
Continue ReadingWhen playing bingo… Do …
When playing bingo… Do gypsies shout out Caravan?
Continue ReadingI think I need to have a …
I think I need to have a clear out on facebook, my timelines full of baby pictures. Especially seeing as I don’t know any of them.
Continue ReadingI used to get this funny …
I used to get this funny feeling when I was a kid. I was molested by a clown on a daily basis.
Continue ReadingIn my first driving test …
In my first driving test I got three minors and a major… The soldier was fine but the kid’s parents were mortified.
Continue ReadingA while ago in history we …
A while ago in history we were talking about technological advances. Someone brought up the fact that kids as young as 4 are getting things like iphones. My teacher replied “good god they cant even count!”. Another student quickly replied “there’s an app for that”.
Continue ReadingA pink, two headed kangar …
A pink, two headed kangaroo just flew into my room and said she wants a divorce because me and my army of fish fingers have lost our grasp on reality.
Continue ReadingAt my school every studen …
At my school every student smokes pot before school. That way no one misses out on higher education.
Continue ReadingI got into a fight with a …
I got into a fight with an amputee. He beat me single-handedly.
Continue ReadingI went to Tesco today and …
I went to Tesco today and threw all of the bread on the floor. The manager came over and said, “Excuse me sir, what are you doing?” I said, “I’m buying that shelf for 89p.”
Continue ReadingBBC News: “Police engage …
BBC News: “Police engage in manhunt after hearing about killing spree.” They shouldn’t really be playing games at a time like this.
Continue ReadingTry as I may, I can’t fin …
Try as I may, I can’t find a woman who’d touch me with a 10 foot barge pole. Then again, it is a bit of an unusual request.
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