The key to being funny is …
The key to being funny is to say smart things stupidly… or was is it stupid things smartly? Whatever, it’s not rocket surgery.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
“Hi love, sorry i’m late …
“Hi love, sorry i’m late home. I ended up playing around with someone from work”. “You………you played golf.” She asked as she laughed. “Don’t be childish, we were playing soldiers in the car park and lost track of time.”
Continue ReadingI hate it when TV produce …
I hate it when TV producers keep making a programme long beyond its natural shelf life, just because they want to make some easy money. It’s shameless.
Continue ReadingStranger: hi looking for …
Stranger: hi looking for girl with webcam You: hi im a hairy man Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Continue ReadingI’ve just read a brillian …
I’ve just read a brilliant book on domestic violence. It’ll take some beating.
Continue ReadingShould we tell the person …
Should we tell the person who invented the number “0” thanks for nothing?
Continue ReadingI once went to see a dysl …
I once went to see a dyslexic magician. I pulled a hobbit out of a rat.
Continue ReadingI’m here at the racecours …
I’m here at the racecourse betting my life savings. I’m sure to win: the race is at two in the afternoon and the bookmaker just told me that my horse starts at ten to one.
Continue ReadingI’ve just bought a Monste …
I’ve just bought a Monsters Inc. advent calender. Every time you open a door it’s a different child’s bedroom.
Continue ReadingMy Brother-in-law told me …
My Brother-in-law told me he was going out for a run in his new car later. How posh is that? A treadmill in your car.
Continue ReadingI read somewhere that 37 …
I read somewhere that 37 is too old to still be living with your parents. It was on a note, in my bedroom.
Continue ReadingMy mate invented the perf …
My mate invented the perfect anti-grizzly suit the other day. He’s been absolutely unbearable ever since.
Continue ReadingI know a jazz musician, e …
I know a jazz musician, everyone calls him “Soul King” Because all he does is mope.
Continue Reading“If you can’t laugh at yo …
“If you can’t laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?” Facebook.
Continue ReadingI wish it were appropriat …
I wish it were appropriate to say to a complete stranger, “Excuse me, would you like me to show you how to discipline your child?”
Continue Reading