Personally, I don’t under …
Personally, I don’t understand why you’d keep your sewing kit in a haystack in the first place.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I’m looking forward to wh …
I’m looking forward to when Americans play level 9-11 on Angry Birds and throw bombs into towers, and a look of shock and horror covers their faces as they slowly realise… McDonald’s breakfast finishes at 11 30.
Continue ReadingI spilt some stain remove …
I spilt some stain remover on my sleeve. How do you get that out?
Continue ReadingDuring my first day of wo …
During my first day of working at a nursery school, a member of staff asked me what I did to entertain the kids; my reply was “finger puppets”. You should have seen their faces after I repeatedly shoved my pinky in and out of Edd the Duck.
Continue ReadingRob Manuel goes into a li …
Rob Manuel goes into a library and forgets to ask for a book on website maintenance.
Continue ReadingMy mate’s absolutely insa …
My mate’s absolutely insane. He just told me that he needed to rush home to talk to his plants as it helps them grow. I just send mine a text usually?
Continue ReadingI’m with the other P.E.T. …
I’m with the other P.E.T.A. People for the Eating of Tasty Animals
Continue ReadingI’ve just phoned an ad up …
I’ve just phoned an ad up out of the local paper. “Wanted: Car seat for children ages 3-6” Apparently it wasn’t a swap deal.
Continue ReadingAs I was driving down a d …
As I was driving down a dark country lane last night, I thought “its a good job that guy invented cats-eyes otherwise that cat wouldn’t have seen me”
Continue ReadingThe wife told me earlier …
The wife told me earlier that I was small in the trouser department. I think she’ll find my inside leg is an average size actually.
Continue ReadingI was running a sports da …
I was running a sports day for a group of kids with Aspergers ” Here’s a bat and ball, knock yourselves out” Easiest money i’ve ever made…
Continue ReadingI’m usually very good at …
I’m usually very good at remembering things, but last night I forgot what Al Yankovic’s nickname was. I thought: “That’s weird”.
Continue ReadingIf I brought one thing to …
If I brought one thing to a dessert island it would be a spoon.
Continue ReadingWhat do you call a law-ab …
What do you call a law-abiding city with a lisp? Ethics.
Continue ReadingRoundabouts are a revolut …
Roundabouts are a revolutionary idea.
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