Oh yeah, real mature guys …
Oh yeah, real mature guys! Is this like the time you made me believe David Schwimmer died?
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I recently made a complai …
I recently made a complaint to the council, because of my neighbours “constant drilling”. According to the letter I received, its a standard procedure at the Army barracks.
Continue ReadingPeople say that every dog …
People say that every dog has its day. How right they are. We got a dog for Christmas, got bored with it and had it put down on Boxing Day.
Continue ReadingIt’s a good job Dr. Seuss …
It’s a good job Dr. Seuss didn’t actually have an MD: “Today, we’ll be performing a vivisection of your erection for detection of infection in connection with erection imperfection”.
Continue ReadingI started laughing uncont …
I started laughing uncontrollably at work today. A guy asked, “What’s so funny?” I said, “Oh, Hahahah just something my wife said during breakfast this morning.” “What did she say?” He asked. To which I replied, “She said she thought that I was a bit slow.”
Continue ReadingI went to an Italian carp …
I went to an Italian carpet fitters convention, last night. It was wall to wall Totti.
Continue ReadingAlcohol kills nervous tis …
Alcohol kills nervous tissue and cells. But the calm ones remain!
Continue ReadingMy Mexican lorry driver f …
My Mexican lorry driver friend has got to watch what he eats. He records it on a tacograph.
Continue ReadingBBC : Man ignores warning …
BBC : Man ignores warning and shark bites off his legs. Not big or clever.
Continue ReadingI’ve been revising concep …
I’ve been revising conceptual schemes so hard, my heads full of them.
Continue ReadingKnock knock. Who’s there? …
Knock knock. Who’s there? Hike. Hike who? What is a haiku? This is a haiku.
Continue ReadingBreaking news: Gwyneth Pa …
Breaking news: Gwyneth Paltrow has Osteoporosis.
Continue ReadingMy wife just got back fro …
My wife just got back from the butchers ….now which part should i eat first?
Continue ReadingWhoever said “Behind ever …
Whoever said “Behind every great man is a great woman” has obviously never seen the trailer for Human Centipede.
Continue ReadingMy friend in Greenpeace t …
My friend in Greenpeace told me that humans need to try and preserve nature. So I pickled a baby panda.
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