I rang my boss this morni …
I rang my boss this morning. I said, “I’m not going to be in today” He said, “Why not?” I said, “Because I’ll be at work with you obviously”
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Someone asked me for a bi …
Someone asked me for a bit of my kit-kat this morning. So I gave them the two fingers.
Continue ReadingMoney can’t buy you happi …
Money can’t buy you happiness. But it can buy you drugs. Lots and lots of drugs.
Continue ReadingAs a Christmas treat, I’m …
As a Christmas treat, I’m going to make some Bucks fizz. I’ve got some acid, now I’m off to the deer park…
Continue ReadingFabrice Muamba retired fr …
Fabrice Muamba retired from football. He is reported to have said that his heart just wasn’t in the right place.
Continue ReadingPut an end to fathers for …
Put an end to fathers for justice…. ….have a kid with Britney Spears
Continue ReadingI got myself a lovely bra …
I got myself a lovely brand new pair of boots. My wife asked “Are they Clarks’ Shoes?” “No, they’re mine.”
Continue ReadingSomeone told me to think …
Someone told me to think of a joke about rebellion. So I didn’t.
Continue ReadingWant to add insult to inj …
Want to add insult to injury. Injuryinsult
Continue ReadingMy wife told me to stop j …
My wife told me to stop judging people by how much money they have or she’s leaving me. That’s rich coming from her.
Continue ReadingIts really hits home when …
Its really hits home when even Facebook tells you that you have an error when you try to poke a girl…
Continue ReadingI had a job in a supermar …
I had a job in a supermarket once, handing out samples for people to try. I got asked to leave though, after the “little cups of bleach” incident.
Continue ReadingI had a trial for Man Utd …
I had a trial for Man Utd but because of a red card in my first match they didn’t sign me. Fergie said I shouldn’t have given it to Giggs.
Continue ReadingI always agree to meet my …
I always agree to meet my internet prey in the play ground. Roundabout, 7.
Continue ReadingI don’t get Sickipedia jo …
I don’t get Sickipedia jokes. My black slave gets them for me.
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