My wife recently audition …
My wife recently auditioned for cinderella in a pantomime and asked me if I thought she would get the part. I said, “Hey, if the shoe fits”.
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My Great Great Grandad wa …
My Great Great Grandad was killed at The Battle of the Little Bighorn He wasn’t involved in the battle, He was camping in the field next door and went to complain about the noise.
Continue Reading.u ss u o u ,upp …
.u ss u o u ,upp
Continue ReadingNext time someone complim …
Next time someone compliments you why not bring the conversation to your level by replying with: “Aww, much like an abused child, I’m touched”
Continue ReadingIntel bought McAfee for U …
Intel bought McAfee for USD 7 Billion. Wonder why? They could have simply downloaded it for free.
Continue ReadingAs I was coming home from …
As I was coming home from the fish n chip shop, I opened the bag to discover my cod was coated in bread crumbs. I can’t believe it’s not batter.
Continue ReadingI was mentally undressing …
I was mentally undressing this girl at work today. She was no match for my garden shears.
Continue ReadingMy wife and I have been g …
My wife and I have been going through a trial separation and today we met for coffee to discuss how things have been going. After a few pleasantries, she said, ” I need to tell you that for the last few weeks I’ve been seeing a counsellor.” I looked at her for a moment and […]
Continue ReadingTwice: So good they named …
Twice: So good they named it twice.
Continue ReadingI’m quite a good escape a …
I’m quite a good escape artist. Unfortunately my paintings of prison breaks aren’t big sellers.
Continue ReadingMighty ships: “the captai …
Mighty ships: “the captain must push his ship, and his crew, as hard as he can to meet the deadline” wouldn’t the engines be faster?
Continue ReadingA bicycle can’t stand alo …
A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.
Continue ReadingI was driving into work t …
I was driving into work today, when I saw a car wrapped round a lamppost. I thought..that’s just taking rememberance too far… What’s wrong with a bunch of flowers?
Continue ReadingThey say ‘never forget yo …
They say ‘never forget your roots’ I guess its no surprise then, that Al Fayeds shop Harrods is on a corner.
Continue ReadingI was at a party the othe …
I was at a party the other night when my mate started abusing CFC’s from a canister. . . It Really killed the atmosphere.
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