Women are only good for o …
Women are only good for one thing,two if they can cook.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Everywhere else in the U. …
Everywhere else in the U.K letting another car have priority over yours is called ‘giving way’, in London it’s called ‘giving in’.
Continue ReadingEvery year my mate says h …
Every year my mate says he’s going on an expensive longhaul holiday, yet every year he ends up camping in Devon. Torquays cheap.
Continue ReadingMeat eaters, cure your ve …
Meat eaters, cure your vegetarian friends by pledging to triple your own meat consumption for the duration of their abstinence. If they really love animals, they’ll have no choice but to start eating burgers again.
Continue ReadingRecently Ive been doing m …
Recently Ive been doing my bit to help stop the onslaught of global warming. Not because I care about the environment; I just hate the homeless.
Continue ReadingI work in an office with …
I work in an office with 14 women and I am the only guy Tomorrow they have asked me to bake something for Comic Relief Rohypnol drizzle cakes! mmmmmmm….
Continue ReadingNearly got kicked out of …
Nearly got kicked out of McDonald’s today… There was a fit girl who asked me if I wanted to go large for 30p so I told her “you’ve already done that, I’ll give you a 1 to finish me off”
Continue ReadingWhy don’t you see many ho …
Why don’t you see many homeless black guys? Would you smile if you were homeless and black?
Continue ReadingI got some strange looks …
I got some strange looks when I was sitting on the bus this morning . I bet they were wondering how I got up there.
Continue ReadingI’ve invented a washing m …
I’ve invented a washing machine for five pound notes It’ll be real money spinner
Continue ReadingI’ve just been tested for …
I’ve just been tested for Chlamydia. Not great feedback, but the nurse was lovely, so I’m taking some positives from it.
Continue ReadingWhat do you call a woman …
What do you call a woman who lives in a grid? Ingrid.
Continue ReadingBBC News – “Church tops y …
BBC News – “Church tops young music rich list”. I’m not surprised… …priests have been grooming the best choir boys for years.
Continue ReadingBill & Ted’s Excellent Ad …
Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure is so unrealistic. Everybody knows you need a flux capacitor to travel through time.
Continue ReadingTwitter is like internet …
Twitter is like internet autism. You start out thinking you’re going to be as popular as everyone else, but by the end of it you’re talking to yourself.
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