My mate just turned up on …
My mate just turned up on my doorstep crying his eyes out. Apparently he’s just been made homeless. I don’t know why he’s making a ‘Big issue’ over it.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I don’t know if i’m a bit …
I don’t know if i’m a bit sick; but when you’re out shopping, does no one else find it funny when distracted toddlers walk into things… …like the road
Continue ReadingI’ve just had a quick les …
I’ve just had a quick lesson on how to use a horn It was a tootorial.
Continue ReadingTried my hand at masturba …
Tried my hand at masturbation. I picked it up in 2 minutes.
Continue ReadingI sometimes think about d …
I sometimes think about doing a truly sick, news worthy crime. Just so I can be the first to post a joke about it on here.
Continue ReadingAccording to Wikipedia, R …
According to Wikipedia, Robert Ripley died today in 1947, though I dunno if I believe it or not.
Continue ReadingBBC News: ELO cellist Mik …
BBC News: ELO cellist Mike Edwards killed by bale of hay. Paramedic’s on the seen were clutching at straws trying to save him.
Continue ReadingA mate bought me an antiq …
A mate bought me an antiquarian dictionary for my birthday. I can’t find the words to thank him.
Continue ReadingDedication. Sacrifice. Gu …
Dedication. Sacrifice. Guts. Glory. You need all these to be an Olympian… or a cannibal.
Continue ReadingThe guy who invented the …
The guy who invented the autocue died this week at the age of 91. When I found out I was speechless.
Continue ReadingJust got my Jewish mate s …
Just got my Jewish mate some cologne for his birthday. HoLacoste.
Continue ReadingBefore we broke up, my la …
Before we broke up, my last girlfriend screamed at me, “I never want to see you again!” So I replaced her eye drops with battery acid.
Continue ReadingMy wife loves glossy maga …
My wife loves glossy magazines. So I bought her a Dulux catalogue.
Continue ReadingMy wife wasn’t impressed …
My wife wasn’t impressed with the deep, fat fryer I brought home yesterday. He works in the chippy and just mumbles philosophy.
Continue Reading“Sponsor A Dog For Life b …
“Sponsor A Dog For Life by sending just two pounds a month, and your dog will write to you” Says the advert. Imagine my shock and disappointment when all I received was a signed photo of Kerry Katona!
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