Anyone want a plate? Spea …
Anyone want a plate? Speak now or forever hold your pizza.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I say, ‘Inoperative’. You …
I say, ‘Inoperative’. You say, ‘Not switched on’. Let’s just call the whole thing ‘Off’.
Continue ReadingWhat’s a Hindu? Lays eggs …
What’s a Hindu? Lays eggs.
Continue ReadingJust heard good some news …
Just heard good some news the lead singer from D:ream has got over his bankrupcy and is now opening a little italian pastry shop! Things Cannoli get better!
Continue ReadingI went to the doctors bec …
I went to the doctors because my hair keeps falling out, I asked him: “What do I do? Do you have anything to keep it in?” He handed me a cardboard box.
Continue ReadingNurse, I swear I didn’t m …
Nurse, I swear I didn’t mean to touch you! It must be the Parkinson’s. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.
Continue ReadingAs I sat there licking my …
As I sat there licking my guitar, I thought to myself, “I have a good taste in music.”
Continue ReadingAim for the stars,but fir …
Aim for the stars,but first,aim for their bodyguards
Continue ReadingI can’t give away my old …
I can’t give away my old clothes to the poor. They have enough to put up with without the add humiliation of wearing last season clothes.
Continue ReadingMy phone has been ringing …
My phone has been ringing off the hook. I should probably get that fixed.
Continue ReadingApple have released a new …
Apple have released a new gadget exclusive to the UK that the Americans just can’t seem to get their heads around. They’ve named it the….. iRONY
Continue ReadingI was sweating down some …
I was sweating down some onions tonight when a greengrocer came over and said, “No joggers near my fruit & veg!”
Continue ReadingI don’t know what all the …
I don’t know what all the hype surrounding ‘T in the Park’ is. I couldn’t find anywhere to plug in my kettle.
Continue ReadingIf Facebook ever shut dow …
If Facebook ever shut down, you’d see people roaming the streets shoving pictures in peoples faces screaming “Do you like this?! DO YOU?!”
Continue ReadingWhat’s the difference bet …
What’s the difference between a woman and a computer? You only have to punch information into a computer once!
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