What happened to that spa …
What happened to that spastic joke I just posted? Must have been voted Downs.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Yahoo:’Skier cheats death …
Yahoo:’Skier cheats death in fall’. It’s probably because it’s safer to ski in winter.
Continue ReadingPeople that start revolut …
People that start revolutions are just going around in circles.
Continue ReadingMy mum used to say I’d ne …
My mum used to say I’d never amount to anything. If only she could see me now, with my very own bed in the homeless shelter.
Continue ReadingOur wheelie bin didn’t ge …
Our wheelie bin didn’t get emptied today because of the snow. Perhaps I may have put a little too much snow in it.
Continue ReadingI was recently put in pri …
I was recently put in prison for murder, I was really bored but its ok now because I’ve made bail, Its amazing what you can do with a D.I.Y kit, when behind bars.
Continue ReadingI’ve just eaten a yogurt …
I’ve just eaten a yogurt that correctly guesses your time and cause of death. It was a Muller Coroner…
Continue ReadingThe police turned up and …
The police turned up and arrested my next door neighbour for hacking yesterday. He doesn’t even own a computer. They found 4 bodies and an axe in the garage though…
Continue ReadingMy mate burst in and shou …
My mate burst in and shouted “Help me! If I start acting in a wacky manner, this collar around my neck will explode” I said “Don’t be silly”
Continue ReadingIve just told the wife I …
Ive just told the wife I have taken out a hefty life insurance policy. “Is that to plan for the future?” she enquired. “Sort of” I replied. “I thought it was a good idea seeing as you have started cooking lessons”
Continue ReadingI turned up at my mates h …
I turned up at my mates house earlier and said that I needed a place to crash. Fortunately, he agreed. So I walked off, got in my car, and drove full speed at the front door.
Continue ReadingI took a dodgy shredder b …
I took a dodgy shredder back to the shop today and asked for a refund. “Have you got the receipt for it?” They asked. I said “Yes, Have you got any Sellotape?”
Continue ReadingSometimes when I cut my t …
Sometimes when I cut my toe nails I like to leave them all over the room. Just in case bugs need to use them as swords when they’re at war.
Continue ReadingNo Bandwagons No Duplicat …
No Bandwagons No Duplicates Just Offending Americans Calrsberg Don’t Do Jokes…
Continue ReadingA man walks into a librar …
A man walks into a library and asks the librarian, “Do you have any books on the G spot?”. After an extensive search the librarian returns, ” Cant find it.” Man : ” Thats the one!”
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