What do Dyslexic cannibal …
What do Dyslexic cannibals eat? Brians.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Farmville isn’t realistic …
Farmville isn’t realistic enough. Instead of brushing a calf to make money, you should be able to raise it in a crate & then slaughter it for veal.
Continue ReadingI’m a coward and I am ver …
I’m a coward and I am very afraid to admit it.
Continue ReadingThere are thousands of st …
There are thousands of starving homeless people on the streets of London, there are also thousands of unwanted stray pets on the streets of London. Does it really take a genius to work out the solution?
Continue ReadingI distorted a Tortoise ea …
I distorted a Tortoise earlier. Now it’s just an Oise.
Continue ReadingYou know you’ve got no fr …
You know you’ve got no friends when even Readers Digest stop writing to you.
Continue ReadingI just bought some laughi …
I just bought some laughing cow. The women’s asylum were auctioning off their patients.
Continue ReadingI went to meet my girlfri …
I went to meet my girlfriend’s family today. “Nice to meet you Dave,” my girlfriends sister smiled. “I’ve heard lots about you”. “Likewise,” I replied. “Hows the Gonorrhea?”
Continue ReadingI think my accent is too …
I think my accent is too posh. I told the Waiter in an Indian Restaurant that I didn’t want too much spice so he moved me to a cramped table in the corner.
Continue ReadingI went to the Natural His …
I went to the Natural History Museum and saw the two bees that Noah supposedly took with him. They were in the archives.
Continue ReadingI used to be a dyslexic a …
I used to be a dyslexic arsonist but I’m alight now
Continue ReadingDavid James made a great …
David James made a great save today. There was a two for one offer on hair gel at Tesco’s.
Continue ReadingI can’t wait for tonight. …
I can’t wait for tonight. A bunch of my mates are coming over to play on their phones.
Continue ReadingSpending Valentines Day i …
Spending Valentines Day in prison has taught me one thing, “It’s better to give than receive”.
Continue ReadingThe police just pulled me …
The police just pulled me over and said, “Did you know that your brake lights aren’t working, sir?” I said, “I’m sorry, but I was to busy driving on the inside of my car to notice.”
Continue Reading