My Mum was a vengeful oph …
My Mum was a vengeful ophthalmologist Eye for an eye…
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I have just made friends …
I have just made friends with some 6 year old girls on Facebook. Does that mean I can now legally poke them?
Continue ReadingWomen don’t know the mean …
Women don’t know the meaning of hard work. My wife phoned me to tell me she was in ‘labour’ but when I got to the hospital she was just lying in bed.
Continue ReadingI had a smashing meal the …
I had a smashing meal the other night Went to a Greek restaurant
Continue ReadingMy wife is Jinxed. Ironic …
My wife is Jinxed. Ironically, she’s as unlucky as her name suggests.
Continue ReadingWhen my girlfriend was ge …
When my girlfriend was getting into the car, her tights ripped. So I gave her the fan-belt
Continue ReadingI woke up to the sound of …
I woke up to the sound of running water this morning. He’s the little Native American boy we’ve adopted
Continue ReadingIt was my dying daughters …
It was my dying daughters wish to be on Top Of The Pops… So I buried her on a couple of crates of Cherryade and Cola.
Continue ReadingMy wife told me she was l …
My wife told me she was leaving me because im immature. So I told her to:- Say ‘Eye’ Spell ‘M.A.P’ and Say ‘Ness’ Oh you should have seen her face.
Continue ReadingIt’s funny how “shocking” …
It’s funny how “shocking” and “stunning” carry the same meaning. Except when commenting on someone’s appearance.
Continue ReadingWhen was the last time a …
When was the last time a boxer became champion and then shat in the ring? Crufts 1964.
Continue ReadingI’ve been learning to spe …
I’ve been learning to speak Urdu for a few weeks now. It’s not an easy language but now I can at least communicate with my neighbours.
Continue ReadingI dont know why so many p …
I dont know why so many people hate it but I really love Twilight. Thats when i do all my raping.
Continue ReadingYou know when you’ve left …
You know when you’ve left a lasting impression on a woman when the Police can take your fingerprints from the bruises on her neck….
Continue ReadingSickipedia: The server is …
Sickipedia: The server is experiencing extreme load. Please try again later. Not the only thing that just experienced extreme load.
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