I like my women like Chri …
I like my women like Christmas crackers… …cheap and easy to pull.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I know what will stop the …
I know what will stop these riots… A facebook group
Continue ReadingWhat happened to the days …
What happened to the days when sickipedia was actually sick? If anything it should just be called mildlyoffensivebandwagonpedia.org
Continue ReadingI’ve just received a doct …
I’ve just received a doctors appointment regarding my constipation. Unfortunately I can’t go.
Continue ReadingI bought some mint shampo …
I bought some mint shampoo today. It’s not that good.
Continue ReadingSaw a book today at a car …
Saw a book today at a car boot sale called “I Can Make You Rich” Works then?
Continue ReadingI saw a sign at the side …
I saw a sign at the side of the road earlier, ‘POLICE THERE WAS A FATAL CRASH HERE SUNDAY CAN YOU HELP’ It’s a bit late to be asking for help now. I could have if they had put the signs up a week earlier.
Continue ReadingTODAY’S STOCK MARKETS: H …
TODAY’S STOCK MARKETS: Helium was up, feathers were down. Paper was stationery. Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading. Knives were up sharply. Cows steered into a bull market. Pencils lost a few points. Hiking equipment was trailing. Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline. Weights were up in heavy trading. Light switches were […]
Continue ReadingA cistern walks into a ba …
A cistern walks into a bar, feeling flush, and asks for a bowl of beer. Whats the matter ? Dont you like my toilet humour ?
Continue ReadingI’ve opened a shop at the …
I’ve opened a shop at the base of a cliff We sell items at rock bottom prices.
Continue ReadingHarry’s feet weren’t the …
Harry’s feet weren’t the only thing sticking out of his invisibility cloak as he wandered around the girl’s changing rooms.
Continue ReadingI can’t wait for Heather …
I can’t wait for Heather Mills to launch her own beer. Apparently it will get you absolutely legless.
Continue ReadingIsn’t sweet and sour chic …
Isn’t sweet and sour chicken just a bird with multiple personality disorder?
Continue ReadingMy Grandad always used to …
My Grandad always used to say, ‘Every day above ground is a good day’. He wasn’t an optimist, he was a very depressed coalminer.
Continue ReadingI took up Feng Shui. They …
I took up Feng Shui. They say it isn’t a martial art. Tell that to all the blind people I’ve incapacitated by moving their furniture about.
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