My wife is pretty handy a …
My wife is pretty handy around the house. She’s not allowed inside.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Lots of gentle strokes, d …
Lots of gentle strokes, dip it in then out with a nice rhythm, the ends going to get wet thats to be expected, now look at how happy you’ve made your mum. Well done son, you’ll definitely win the rowing race this year.
Continue ReadingWhat is it about police s …
What is it about police station stairs that makes black people trip up so often?
Continue ReadingThe police just arrested …
The police just arrested me at my sportwear stall on the market. Apparantly “short selling” is now banned.
Continue ReadingI think the real solution …
I think the real solution to this crisis we’re in is changing America’s credit rating to PG.
Continue ReadingOn my first day at Uni I …
On my first day at Uni I was just telling my tutor, “I am really interested in planes, and I want to be in the RAF.” He asked, “Have you ever seen an F16?” I said, “No, what sort of mad computers have you got?”
Continue ReadingI was trying to find my g …
I was trying to find my girlfrield so I asked my brother if he knew where she was. He said “no, have you tried her cell?” I said “no, I’ve looked there it’s empty, but I will try phoning her”.
Continue ReadingModern philosophy: The fr …
Modern philosophy: The free of sin are those that give their phone to their partner without erasing anything.
Continue ReadingMy mate said “Would you l …
My mate said “Would you like to hear a pun about a forest?” “Yeah” I said, “I Sherwood.”
Continue ReadingBeing with the wife all t …
Being with the wife all those years, I was happy to see her let herself go. And it was far better to die in a fall than that fire.
Continue ReadingProcrastination; Otherwis …
Procrastination; Otherwise known as self-distract mode.
Continue ReadingBBC News: 5 year old girl …
BBC News: 5 year old girl in gunshot wound is no longer in a critical condition. Or ‘dead’.
Continue ReadingI’m never buying milk fro …
I’m never buying milk from an Asian shop again. Yesterday it went off. On the Tube.
Continue ReadingSo… Did they call it an …
So… Did they call it an AMERICAN pit bull terrier because it was first bred in America? Or because it tries to eat everything it comes in contact with?
Continue ReadingJust eaten 9 ‘After Eight …
Just eaten 9 ‘After Eight’ mints, but so far nothing’s happened.
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