Welcome to the Family Pla …
Welcome to the Family Planning Clinic; Please use the rear entrance
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
My mate just rang and sai …
My mate just rang and said “I’ve just bought a mini clubman, come over tomorrow.” I can’t wait. It’s not everyday you see a chav dwarf playing golf.
Continue ReadingIn my spare time, I show …
In my spare time, I show my friends the various oxidation states of Vanadium. I’m not really a chemist, I do it mainly for the reaction.
Continue ReadingI would love to dance at …
I would love to dance at a metric party, but I have two left 0.305 metres
Continue ReadingHow many nihilists does i …
How many nihilists does it take to sharpen a pencil? One, but there’s still no point.
Continue ReadingI once applied to be a ma …
I once applied to be a male stripper. They put me on their shortlist
Continue ReadingMy family said that buyin …
My family said that buying things from eBay is very risky as you can’t guarantee authenticity. What do they know? I reckon they’re jealous of my new Anglo Saxon CD rack.
Continue ReadingI tore my mates origami b …
I tore my mates origami bird into two today. RIP.
Continue ReadingMy stupid boss jumped to …
My stupid boss jumped to his death from our office block today, clutching his iPad. The police expected a suicide note, but found he had just switched it to ‘airplane mode’…
Continue ReadingI wanted to get a power-g …
I wanted to get a power-gate for my drive. But with gate power comes gate responsibility.
Continue ReadingThe recent story about th …
The recent story about the faster-than-light neutrino is very interesting, but I’m having trouble keeping up with it.
Continue ReadingThe town’s local cereal f …
The town’s local cereal farmer chased me accross his field, but I managed to shake him off by going on one of my maizey runs.
Continue ReadingI think I’m going to shav …
I think I’m going to shave the middle of each eyebrow so that my nose looks like it’s a quote.
Continue Readingmy dog just sat on my key …
my dog just sat on my keyboard and came out with the next twighlight book.
Continue ReadingI heard that the BBC Asia …
I heard that the BBC Asian network is to be taken over by a rock and metal based radio station. Qur’ang Radio.
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