after the success of Lloy …
after the success of Lloyd Grossman sauces and Paul Newman salad dressings, just seen the newspaper headline”Michael Douglas cancer spreads” doesn’t sound very appetising if you ask me
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My dad likes to think of …
My dad likes to think of himself as the ringmaster. He’s not in the circus, he’s a paedophile.
Continue ReadingI’ve decided to do my bit …
I’ve decided to do my bit to save the Euro. I bought myself a piggy bank.
Continue ReadingFat Girls are like Buffet …
Fat Girls are like Buffet Food… I’ve snuck some home a few times in my days.
Continue ReadingNot saying my husband has …
Not saying my husband has got a big nose, but he’s the only person I know that can smoke in the shower!
Continue ReadingAs adverts on the televis …
As adverts on the television tell us not to use light switches if we smell gas, I find it useful to always have a candle ready for in case of such emergencies.
Continue ReadingI thought I’d give my chi …
I thought I’d give my children a surprise this Christmas. So I didn’t buy them anything.
Continue ReadingI’m absolutly gutted, I j …
I’m absolutly gutted, I just lost my job as cheif of police. All I did was arrest a PCSO for impersonating a police officer.
Continue ReadingBBC News: Woman ‘called m …
BBC News: Woman ‘called man 65000 times’ Susan Boyle?
Continue ReadingI was sitting on the sofa …
I was sitting on the sofa with my wife last night. I said, “Do you fancy going out for something to eat, my treat?” She said, “Yeah, that would be nice”. I said, “Great, here’s a tenner, get me a kebab and get yourself whatever you want”.
Continue ReadingI hate these kids who pla …
I hate these kids who play tag. They really think they’re it.
Continue ReadingOrange and Apple will mak …
Orange and Apple will make a great pear for the iPhone.
Continue ReadingI’ve just had a bit of tr …
I’ve just had a bit of trouble taking down my Christmas tree. This would never have happened in my wrestling days.
Continue Reading“When you sold me this ca …
“When you sold me this car you told me it was rust-free.” I said to the car salesman “Well, we didn’t charge you for the rust, did we?” He replied.
Continue ReadingMy daughter and her frien …
My daughter and her friend asked me if I wanted join in their skipping game this morning. “You can count me in!” I replied.
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