Sometimes i wonder what m …
Sometimes i wonder what my grandfather would think of my profession these days, he worked in a kebab business. He was burried with his equipment. He’s probably turning in his grave.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
One of those injury lawye …
One of those injury lawyer campaigners distracted me today in town and I walked into a lamp post. I’m now making him sue himself for me.
Continue ReadingAfter this gets voted dow …
After this gets voted down, I’m going to edit in something hilarious and make it look like you didn’t get the joke
Continue ReadingBBC News ..’Tense Kyrgyzs …
BBC News ..’Tense Kyrgyzstan holds referendum’ .. The scrabble adjudicators finally agreed ‘Kyrgyzstan’ was a proper noun, rather than a tense and still scored 234
Continue ReadingThe definition of a Yanke …
The definition of a Yankee. It is the same as a quickee except you are by yourself!
Continue ReadingI visited a memorial to a …
I visited a memorial to all the men who died while working for Pickfords. It was very moving.
Continue ReadingI bought a car that had b …
I bought a car that had been tuned up by a movie editor. I took it for a test drive and it went like the clappers.
Continue ReadingDriving to work, I was la …
Driving to work, I was laughing at the story on the radio about the cop who got suspended for sneaking Duran Duran lyrics into his evidence at court, when I got pulled over. So, chuckling, I wound the window down and said to the officer ‘Please, please tell me now – is there something I […]
Continue ReadingMy wife just asked me wha …
My wife just asked me what i would do if she was kidnapped? I asked her if she’d ever seen that Liam Neason film ‘taken’? ….. I told her i’d watch that.
Continue ReadingI said to my mate, “Bet y …
I said to my mate, “Bet you can’t guess how much I won at the bookies yesterday?” He chuckled, “Go on then, put me out of my misery.” So I shot his wife.
Continue ReadingI wish I hadn’t bought th …
I wish I hadn’t bought that corrugated iron. If anything it’s made my clothes MORE creased.
Continue ReadingMy dog has just bitten my …
My dog has just bitten my disabled son. That’s it, once this ones gone, no more kids for me!
Continue Reading‘Undercover cop that infi …
‘Undercover cop that infiltrated eco activist group, switches sides.’ It’s just like The Fast and The Furious, except instead of fast cars and hot women, they drive hybrids and the women don’t shower.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend wouldn’t le …
My girlfriend wouldn’t let me post myself in the mail. I was so angry, I stamped my feet.
Continue ReadingMicrowave (noun): a gest …
Microwave (noun): a gesture used by midgets and dwarves to express greetings, recognition or when departing.
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