I love this time of year …
I love this time of year as there’s always a Bond movie on. My favourite has to be The History of Pritt Stick.
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I’ve just started my own …
I’ve just started my own online business…………. I steal washing!
Continue ReadingMe and my friend Dave dec …
Me and my friend Dave decided to make a pact to stop drinking altogether. So far, I haven’t touched alcohol in three weeks. Dave on the other hand, misunderstood the agreement and died from dehydration after five days.
Continue ReadingI was eating a Magnum, wh …
I was eating a Magnum, when I thought “Glocks taste better.”
Continue ReadingI’ve just bought a new mo …
I’ve just bought a new mouse trap. It’s hilarious watching my family try to use the computer.
Continue ReadingI was stunned when I foun …
I was stunned when I found out that police can now carry taser guns.
Continue ReadingI’ve joined a rap band wi …
I’ve joined a rap band with my fellow train constructors. We have a couple of good tracks.
Continue ReadingI’ve decided I’m going to …
I’ve decided I’m going to read ‘The Lord Of The Rings’ For a fifth time. I don’t know what it is about a child-size creature getting his ring destroyed that I find so appealing.
Continue Reading90% of the worlds photogr …
90% of the worlds photograph paper comes from Zambia. Its a developing country.
Continue ReadingNutrition scientists have …
Nutrition scientists have found that some brand-name pizzas contain more salt than seawater. Thanks to the ‘experts’, we now know why pizzas aren’t very wet.
Continue ReadingMy mate claims he invente …
My mate claims he invented a new bra clip thats benefits men. It wont catch on.
Continue ReadingI went to the magic circl …
I went to the magic circle to apply to train as a magician and they gave me a form to fill in, I gave up after a few minutes, it was full of trick questions…
Continue ReadingI hate it when people try …
I hate it when people try to sound intelligent by using sayings they don’t understand. When in Rome.
Continue ReadingAnytime I eat in a restau …
Anytime I eat in a restaurant I always leave the same tip on the table. “Lock your doors in future when I’m in. That way I wouldn’t dine and dash so easily,” it says.
Continue ReadingBooks about physical attr …
Books about physical attraction towards both male and female are hard to come bi.
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