I won a tidy sum on the l …
I won a tidy sum on the lottery and gave my homeless brother a new home. It was the box from my new 65″ TV.
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I found an old unframed o …
I found an old unframed oil painting in my loft yesterday of a beautiful naked lady so i mounted it
Continue Reading‘JK Rowling writes first …
‘JK Rowling writes first book for adults’. Nonsense. I have loads of adult books, all of them written by other authors.
Continue ReadingI bought a new Apple Mac …
I bought a new Apple Mac the other day. It’s great, every time it rains I smell like Cider.
Continue ReadingMy wife drives exactly th …
My wife drives exactly the same way as she did when she was learning. She did a crash course.
Continue ReadingI may have slightly over …
I may have slightly over reacted when my friend asked me where I was when Kennedy was shot. Looking back now I realise he wasn’t accusing me of anything.
Continue ReadingCarlsberg don’t do Stella …
Carlsberg don’t do Stella……….if they did I might consider drinking it.
Continue ReadingWhen climbing ladders, do …
When climbing ladders, do blind people need a step-by-step guide?
Continue ReadingMy uncle was a bit of a d …
My uncle was a bit of a dare-devil in his day. Well he used to be a full one until he tried juggling chainsaws.
Continue ReadingFord are bringing out an …
Ford are bringing out an old favourite in solid gold for the Chinese market. It’s the Ka ching.
Continue ReadingNever work with your girl …
Never work with your girlfriend! I met mine at work. I mean, at first there’s the bonuses like getting to stare at her hot body all day and sneaking off for a quickie in the toilets. But then there are the downsides – She always asks me stupid questions, tries to show me off to […]
Continue ReadingThe other market traders …
The other market traders think Im mad getting in a load of Russian dolls on my stall to sell,but I dont. I think there is something in it.
Continue ReadingI sent an error report. W …
I sent an error report. Windows 7 was my idea.
Continue ReadingProtesters at NATO summit …
Protesters at NATO summit want to eliminate currency. Greek government takes their advice.
Continue ReadingI just had to fish three …
I just had to fish three drowned rabbits out of the washing machine. My wife really should check the pockets of my magician’s outfit before she puts it in.
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