A girl on my Facebook fri …
A girl on my Facebook friends list updated her status earlier: “SELLING MY BABY! 🙁 – Inbox me for details” How disappointed was I to find out it was her Mini Cooper?!
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Be honest. Have you ever …
Be honest. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that youre going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch […]
Continue ReadingI bought a suppository fr …
I bought a suppository from Ikea. I had to put it up myself.
Continue ReadingI had a continental break …
I had a continental breakfast this morning. Tyres taste disgusting.
Continue ReadingMy new girlfriend was coo …
My new girlfriend was cooking with the meat I got her when she started going off on one, “I haven’t seen my cat for hours, he never goes out.” She said frantically, running around kicking and screaming. I think she’s making a meal of it.
Continue ReadingI was on my way to work t …
I was on my way to work this morning when I saw a pheasant, a grouse and a partridge all dressed up as clowns. I thought to myself, “They’re game for a laugh.”
Continue ReadingRight then mr obama, I wa …
Right then mr obama, I want my $25 million reward. Whats that, you dont recall the conversation we had? I distinctly remember telling you the where abouts of bin laden. Oh the evidence?? I disposed of it in the sea.
Continue ReadingI read in the paper that …
I read in the paper that a boy of 15 committed suicide after an horrendous bullying campaign on Facebook. Result.
Continue ReadingIs uncle Ben married to A …
Is uncle Ben married to Aunt Bessie?
Continue ReadingSo Voldermort took over t …
So Voldermort took over the wizard world, turned half of the population into his followers, Can u imagine if he had a twitter account!
Continue ReadingI could never be a Buddhi …
I could never be a Buddhist, I’m a little zenophobic.
Continue ReadingI made History today. Sad …
I made History today. Sadly got up to late for Geography though.
Continue ReadingI heard that chickens act …
I heard that chickens actually descended from dinosaurs. They must’ve had fun sliding down its tail.
Continue ReadingMy wife left me because o …
My wife left me because of my obsession with fishing, She’ll always be the one that got away……………..
Continue ReadingDoris and Mildred, two po …
Doris and Mildred, two posh old ladies, are sitting in a restaurant tucking into plates of Parma ham with asparagus and hollandaise sauce. “Do you know, Mildred,” says Doris, “they used to call asparagus the ‘widow’s comforter’?” “Not much comfort in one of these, Doris,” says Mildred with a sly smile, picking up an asparagus […]
Continue Reading