I don’t know about you lo …
I don’t know about you lot, but I think we’re in for a bad spell of wether.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Amazing that all it takes …
Amazing that all it takes to cure cancer and aids, establish world peace, reverse climate change, provide employment in deprived areas, lower crime rates to zero, balance the budget deficit and make every single person in the world happy is one little Royal Wedding.
Continue ReadingThere was loads of copper …
There was loads of coppers at my local church yesterday. I wish people would give more generously.
Continue ReadingI have a tendency just to …
I have a tendency just to move sideways after I’ve woken up. I’m usually a bit crabby in the morning.
Continue ReadingI got food poisoning from …
I got food poisoning from ‘dinosaur meat’ the other day. I ate it Roar.
Continue ReadingI can imagine the family …
I can imagine the family portraits in the Wheres Wally household are pretty interesting. Probably just a photo of a couch and a lamp.
Continue ReadingMothers are fonder than f …
Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own.
Continue ReadingMy grandfather died takin …
My grandfather died taking a grenade for the Queen. He was shot by security as he brought it in.
Continue ReadingI was checking out a mobi …
I was checking out a mobile phone the other day, when I thought to myself… My standards have REALLY dropped…
Continue ReadingI phoned my car insurance …
I phoned my car insurance company asking why my premiums are so high. They gave me their email address, daytime telephone number and a 16 digit reference code. Which wasn’t easy to write down without pulling over to the hard shoulder.
Continue ReadingI was on Oprah’s show , s …
I was on Oprah’s show , sitting on her couch when she came over and sat on my lap . I felt Opressed.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend is temperam …
My girlfriend is temperamental. That’s 50% temper and 50% mental.
Continue ReadingIt used to be exciting ha …
It used to be exciting having to move all the chocolate hoops from one side of the yogurt pot and into the yogurt but now people bend and snap them down the middle, taking the fun out of it which I’m totally against.. I don’t cut corners.
Continue ReadingI saw an iMac in my workp …
I saw an iMac in my workplace today. So I grabbed a marker pen and scribbled ‘unt’ next to the logo.
Continue ReadingPut a man in a room of fe …
Put a man in a room of females and it’s a man among women. Add a downy and it becomes a man, a mong, women.
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