Fifty pence pieces. Now y …
Fifty pence pieces. Now you don’t get many of them to the pound.
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“I hide mine in the fridg …
“I hide mine in the fridge.” Hardly the most secretive place to put a muller rice is it?
Continue ReadingI came in from work earli …
I came in from work earlier to see my son crying on the stairs in hysterics. “What’s wrong matey?” I asked him. “Daddy, I’m having trouble with the girls at school!” he cried. I thought it was time…I gave him the inevitable talk about ‘the birds and the bees’ and he sat there and listened. […]
Continue Reading‘Gillette M3 Power Razor’ …
‘Gillette M3 Power Razor’…. ‘For best results, use with Gillette M3 Power blades and Gillete Mach3 Turbo Gel’… So you’ve tested the Gillette razor with the Wilkinson range of accessories, have you?….just in case.
Continue ReadingIsn’t it ironic that when …
Isn’t it ironic that when chinese people farts?
Continue ReadingA new Muslim version of P …
A new Muslim version of Playboy is being published. The model for the centrefold has just been unveiled.
Continue ReadingThe other day, my son was …
The other day, my son was talking back to my wife. She asked him to do something and he said, “No! I don’t want to.” So I pulled him aside and said, “Son, you have got to teach me how to do that.”
Continue ReadingI was told earlier today …
I was told earlier today that i’m impossible to please I must say, i wasn’t very happy after hearing that
Continue ReadingPeople who live in crack …
People who live in crack houses shouldn’t throw rocks.
Continue ReadingMy daughter has been goin …
My daughter has been going out with a clown for 25 years now. I don’t think she will ever have a serious relationship.
Continue ReadingI’ve decided to become a …
I’ve decided to become a true humanitarian and support a shelter for the homeless in my neighborhood. It’ll keep the flies away from my house.
Continue ReadingA guy goes into a seafood …
A guy goes into a seafood restaurant and asks to see the dishes of the day. The waiter wheels over a trolley and the man examines the dishes. “I’ll have the little green squid with the hairy lip, please” says the man. “O.K.” replies the waiter and calls out “Gervais!” A little French chef appears […]
Continue ReadingWhen I worked at the morg …
When I worked at the morgue we sometimes used to gamble for body parts. It was all fun and games until somebody lost an eye.
Continue ReadingHow do American chickens …
How do American chickens cross the road? In a bucket.
Continue ReadingI asked this Australian b …
I asked this Australian bloke how far away I was from Queensland. He replied, “It’s twenty clicks away, mate.” Things must be bad if they’ve started speaking dolphin.
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