The dog escaped out of our back garden last week , and when I hadn’t found Rusty by dark , I wondered if we’d ever see him again. But I was on the other side of town today , and there he was. He’d made it all the way back to his owner’s.
Continue ReadingIf it is true that girls are inclined to marry men like their fathers, it is understandable why mothers cry at weddings.
Continue ReadingThe house hunting at the weekend was a success, I shot 2 semi’s & an end of terrace.
Continue ReadingWhen i was teaching at the school the other day a student came in 15 minutes late. I said “Where have you been?” “I’ve been up Cherry Hill sir,” the boy said. So then I asked him to sit down and get on with his work. 5 minutes later another boy walks in. “Where have […]
Continue ReadingWhen life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Who ever thought this one up obviously hasn’t heard the whole ‘give a man a fish’ thing, because surely the answer is: grow a lemon tree.
Continue ReadingI was chatting to the wife about Prince, and how he changed his name to a symbol. “Oh, like that bloke from Guns and Roses”? She said, “who changed his name to a punctuation mark”? “What”? I replied. “You know”, she said, “Slash”.
Continue ReadingFool your mates into thinking you can tell the future, by getting your time travelling friend to tell you what happens.
Continue ReadingOnce a year my village holds a market for the locals to sell their wares. I baked a couple of cakes to flog – one was priced at a pound, and the other one was a fiver. A chap stopped at my stall and looked at the cakes, before pointing at the one costing a […]
Continue ReadingI’ve just paid 200 for a skip. I thought to myself, that’s an expensive crisp.
Continue ReadingArrow making. Don’t nock it until you’ve tried it.
Continue ReadingI like my women like I like my Xbox. Dead with a red ring.
Continue ReadingSky News: “Number of Brits attending Greyhound Races up 50% compared to last year” So this country really is going to the Dogs.
Continue ReadingI just got back from my interview at the gynecology department. I didn’t go down well.
Continue ReadingAdded my first friend on Facebook- my mum. Now I can change my relationship status!
Continue ReadingTeaching women to drive is a bit like teaching monkeys how to use shot guns… It will all end in chaos.
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