My mate needed a bit of h …
My mate needed a bit of help building his clock. So I gave him a hand.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I’ve become disillusioned …
I’ve become disillusioned with my job looking after history books. To be honest, I’m past caring.
Continue ReadingMy mate rang me and asked …
My mate rang me and asked “What are you up to?” “Nothing much,” I replied “I’m just sitting here in a lecture about mobile phone etiquette. So, how was your weekend, mate?”
Continue ReadingMy boss Mr Iced new born …
My boss Mr Iced new born infant has recently died after its pushchair slid onto a frozen pond and he has asked me to pick out the music to play at its funeral. Looking back i may have missed the opportunity to make quite funny joke.
Continue ReadingAt first I was sceptical …
At first I was sceptical about high fiving Abu Hamza. Now I’m hooked.
Continue ReadingConfuse time travellers b …
Confuse time travellers by leaving old newspapers lying round.
Continue ReadingKids these days… Gettin …
Kids these days… Getting older by the minute
Continue ReadingI’ve just applied to adop …
I’ve just applied to adopt a jaguar for 3 a month. I hope they send me an XJS.
Continue ReadingBBC SPORT: “Tottenham in …
BBC SPORT: “Tottenham in talks to sign Adebayor” Hmmmm this could really be a shot in the foot in terms of Adebayor’s career. And the last thing they want is yet another black man getting shot over there.
Continue ReadingI made a chicken wrap thi …
I made a chicken wrap this morning but it wasn’t very good. It was totally out of tune and don’t get me started on his beatboxing.
Continue ReadingI was arrested for impers …
I was arrested for impersonating a police officer last night. It turned out alright in the end though; I let myself go without pressing any charges.
Continue ReadingMy smartphone got me into …
My smartphone got me into trouble yesterday. I was at my daughters playgroup when one of the mums said: “What’s that in your pocket?” “I have a Desire.” was probably not the best response. Nor was showing them the RedTube app. And my list of favourites.
Continue ReadingRecently, a lot of fat bi …
Recently, a lot of fat birds have been sending me friend requests on Facebook. I guess it’s high time that I removed that cake from my profile picture.
Continue ReadingAs my calling card, I lik …
As my calling card, I like to leave the toilet seat up in the disabled toilets.
Continue ReadingSome midget said I had an …
Some midget said I had an unfair height advantage during a snooker game. So I thought,”Give it a rest.”
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