I have a doctor’s appoint …
I have a doctor’s appointment on Monday. I’m not even sick. It’s just that I’ve been working out and I want someone to see me naked.
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At our 5-a-side game toda …
At our 5-a-side game today I totally sent the keeper the wrong way. I told him we were playing at home.
Continue ReadingMy mum asked me to stay d …
My mum asked me to stay downstairs and keep an eye out for a parcel being delivered. I said, “No way! I’m busy playing upstairs!”. She told me to bring whatever I was playing with downstairs. She didn’t know what to make of it when I returned with my sister.
Continue Readingwindows 7 good for virus …
windows 7 good for virus blocking history deleting and you can use it easily with one hand what are they expecting of us?
Continue ReadingPositivity is a definite …
Positivity is a definite no-no.
Continue ReadingWhy aren’t Audi A3s twice …
Why aren’t Audi A3s twice the size of Audi A4s?
Continue ReadingSome dirty old bag hit me …
Some dirty old bag hit me today, was well windy.
Continue ReadingI walked a bird home from …
I walked a bird home from the pub last night and when we got to her door she asked “Can I interest you in a night cap?” “No, thank you” I replied “I don’t wear them”.
Continue ReadingThere’s this guy who stan …
There’s this guy who stands at my street corner looking shifty with a deck of cards… He’s the local dealer
Continue ReadingI was shocked when my mat …
I was shocked when my mate gave me an erection on Christmas day. He stole it off some dead bloke at the morgue.
Continue ReadingMoney is not the most imp …
Money is not the most important thing in the world, love is. Fortunately, I love money.
Continue ReadingEvery time I take up exer …
Every time I take up exercising I meet new people. They are usually paramedics, but still new people.
Continue ReadingI love it when people “ch …
I love it when people “check in” to places on Facebook through their smart phones. It makes robbing their houses so much easier.
Continue ReadingI can still remember the …
I can still remember the first time I saw the movie The Terminator. A few friends and I went along to the local cinema, which was packed out as it was the opening night, and we managed to get some seats together. About halfway through the film I got up to have a slash and, […]
Continue ReadingGET the N-DUBZ experience …
GET the N-DUBZ experience by smashing yourself in the ear with a hammer.
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