The moon landing was real …
The moon landing was real. It was at the top of the moon stairs.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
You know you’re getting o …
You know you’re getting old when halfway through masturbating your screensaver activates.
Continue ReadingI’ve been told that my dr …
I’ve been told that my drinking is getting out of hand and I must agree… Already tonight I’ve dropped 3 pints
Continue ReadingGot no comeback for that …
Got no comeback for that one have you mate? Well if you want my come back, just wipe it off your mum’s chin!
Continue ReadingThe wife went mad after c …
The wife went mad after catching me smoking a fat one in the garden yesterday. “That salmon’s going to make my washing stink of fish.” she raged.
Continue ReadingMy wife has given birth t …
My wife has given birth to our son in the brand new high tech delivery room. It was cordless.
Continue ReadingFrench is not my Forte. …
French is not my Forte.
Continue ReadingI got chatting to this gi …
I got chatting to this girl in the library. We seemed to have quite a lot in common so after about five minutes I decided to go for it. I whispered to her, “Do you fancy going somewhere a bit noisier?”
Continue ReadingMy dad’s tall and my mum’ …
My dad’s tall and my mum’s small, I am medium. My dad’s black and my mum’s white, I’m half caste. My dad’s muscley and my mum’s skinny, I am average. My dad’s male and my mum’s female, I’m now very worried.
Continue ReadingIdea for world exclusive …
Idea for world exclusive shop. The only shop in the world that sells packs of 8 hot dogs AND a pack of 8 buns.
Continue ReadingLittle Johnny boasted he …
Little Johnny boasted he could make any woman wet just by wiggling his index finger at her! “prove it” I said So he pulled out his water pistol…
Continue ReadingI’ve just invented an Int …
I’ve just invented an Internet service for tall people and giants. It’s called Wi-Fi-Fo-Fum.
Continue ReadingI was lucky enough to wor …
I was lucky enough to work in a hi-fi shop to witness this: An old lady walks into the shop one morning and asked if we sold sheet music. My collegue, without skipping a beat says, “Sorry no, we only sell the decent stuff.”
Continue ReadingCheese in cheesecake? Cre …
Cheese in cheesecake? Cream in cream crackers? What’s next? Meat in Tesco Value sausages?
Continue ReadingI’ve got a step aerobics …
I’ve got a step aerobics instructor. My mum won’t tell me who my real aerobics instructor was.
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