Author: qjoq.com

As my old grandad lay on his deathbed, he whispered in my ear his secret of how to be a successful pheasant poacher. “Put them in boiling water”.

Where’s the best place to find fossils? Wetherspoon’s at lunch time.

It doesn’t matter what time of year it is, when you’re an alcoholic, it’s always shorts weather.

My grandad was the best milk farmer back in the day. He was legendairy.

I’m a tour guide in Brazil and on the bus, I said, “If you look to your left, you will see a giant man made out of stone.” A bloke at the back shouted, “Statue?” I said, “No, it’s Christ The Redeemer.”