Can anyone give me a roug …
Can anyone give me a rough idea how much I would have to pay for a ball park?
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I lost so much cash throu …
I lost so much cash through having my art stolen recently, but fortunately this month I’ve Claude Monet back.
Continue ReadingI understand the Chilean …
I understand the Chilean mine was once involved in a takeover bid by a company called Neilson. Shame it never happened. I could make a killing with my ‘Free Neilson Minedweller’ t-shirts.
Continue ReadingI don’t see the problem w …
I don’t see the problem with the NHS. Probably ‘cos I’m still waiting for my cataract operation.
Continue ReadingSince I told my employees …
Since I told my employees that they’d all be getting something extra in their pay packets next month, staff morale has been at an all time high and productivity has gone through the roof. They’re going to be gutted when they realise that it’s their P45s.
Continue ReadingConfucius say: “Woman who …
Confucius say: “Woman who sit on judge’s lap get honourable discharge”
Continue ReadingI caught my wife with the …
I caught my wife with the plumber, So I told her: “It’s over Flo”
Continue ReadingMy best friend would have …
My best friend would have been competing in the Olympic games but he tested positive for two types of steroids and a synthetic growth hormone. It’s his own fault really, I did tell him to stop eating burgers from McDonald’s.
Continue ReadingGood news: I got entered …
Good news: I got entered into the World Agoraphobia Championships. Bad news: I have an outside chance of winning.
Continue ReadingWhen it comes to buffets, …
When it comes to buffets, I seriously can’t help myself. Which is one downfall of having no hands.
Continue ReadingYou know what floats my B …
You know what floats my Boat? Bouyancy
Continue ReadingWhats Facebook and Sickip …
Whats Facebook and Sickipedia got in common? They Both have dedication pages to dead people.
Continue Readingwhen i was a kid, i can r …
when i was a kid, i can remember pulling sharply on the seat belt in dads car and it suddenly stopped, but when i pulled the seat belt slowly, it continued to unwind with no issues. So i asked my dad: Me: “Why does the seat belt do that?” Dad: “Inertia” Me: “Whats Inertia” Dad: […]
Continue ReadingI got arrested for playin …
I got arrested for playing chess in the middle of the road. I said to the officer, “It’s cos I’m black, isn’t it?”
Continue ReadingI was at a small comeback …
I was at a small comeback gig for Frankie Goes To Hollywood, when a lunatic ran on stage and halted proceedings. He placed a gun to the lead singers head and shouted near the microphone. “I HATE YOUR MUSIC, I’M GOING TO SHOOT YOU IN THE HEAD.” It seems I most definitely should not have […]
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