Let me tell you the joke …
Let me tell you the joke about the dress that didn’t fit. It won’t take long, I shortened it.
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How many of you have had …
How many of you have had that awkward moment when you have to pretend to be amused by your mates ‘Wicked new joke’ that you actually read on Sickipedia over a month ago…?
Continue ReadingI’m starting to believe I …
I’m starting to believe I’m psychic…..but then again, of course, I already knew that.
Continue ReadingI don’t understand why so …
I don’t understand why so many people want to go to the gym to get “big” Surely McDonald’s is the better place to go
Continue ReadingBecause the platypus both …
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk, it is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
Continue ReadingA policeman stopped me th …
A policeman stopped me the other day and said, “I’d like you to blow into this bag sir.” I said, “What for officer?” He replied, “My chips are too hot.”
Continue ReadingI was walking along at ni …
I was walking along at night when I suddenly fell down a dark and damp hole. So I thought to myself, “Well…”
Continue ReadingI got chatting to a girl …
I got chatting to a girl in the pub. She said, “Are you coming on to me?” I said, “Don’t think so love. My flies are closed.”
Continue ReadingMy son isn’t going to sch …
My son isn’t going to school today because of the striking We’re going to let his bruises fade a bit first
Continue ReadingI pulled a muscle the oth …
I pulled a muscle the other night when I though to myself, “I seriously need to stop dating sea creatures!”
Continue ReadingI love reunions; they’re …
I love reunions; they’re old school.
Continue ReadingBeing such a nice day I d …
Being such a nice day I decided to join my local squash club this evening. I’ve just necked 3 pints of Robinson’s in 20 minutes.
Continue ReadingMy poor dog has just had …
My poor dog has just had to have a leg amputated. On the plus side bids are up to 67 for the leg on Korean Ebay.
Continue ReadingI’m sick of these cops ke …
I’m sick of these cops keep telling me how to drive when they are the worst drivers out there. Just look at how many signs are on the roadside saying police accident.
Continue ReadingBeing reincarnated as a f …
Being reincarnated as a female deer was not my best moment, in hind sight.
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