More females to pilot pla …
More females to pilot planes?… It’ll never take off.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Our neighbour’s house is …
Our neighbour’s house is getting repossessed… It’s such a shame, I never got to meet their first ghosts
Continue ReadingWhat a beautiful winter’s …
What a beautiful winter’s morning. I’ve just been out for a walk and seen a little robin. It’s a common sight in Tottenham..as are the police who arrived soon after…
Continue ReadingDoctor says to his patien …
Doctor says to his patient “I’ve got some good news & some bad news” “Whats the good news?” he asks. “I’ve managed to cure your pessimistic nature” says the doctor. “Thanks” says the patient, before leaving.
Continue ReadingI got kicked out of the c …
I got kicked out of the cinema last night for bringing my own food in with me. I was gutted. It’s ages since I’ve had a barbecue.
Continue ReadingBBC News: Martinez in fra …
BBC News: Martinez in frame for Villa job. I wonder if he’s the same thieving git who broke into my Villa last year?
Continue ReadingSomeone get Harold Campin …
Someone get Harold Camping some drugs and some hookers and he’ll forget he ever wanted the world to end.
Continue ReadingI can’t understand why pe …
I can’t understand why people think capital punishment is too harsh, I was in London only this weekend and it wasn’t THAT bad.
Continue ReadingI read this article that …
I read this article that said that one in every five friends overuses sarcastic anecdotes. I thought “That’s Rich”.
Continue ReadingI love the new sport of f …
I love the new sport of fighting marsupials with each other. Mortal Wombat.
Continue ReadingI asked my mate from Belf …
I asked my mate from Belfast why he didn’t like currants. He said, “Ah, no good raisin.”
Continue ReadingWhy did the chicken cross …
Why did the chicken cross the Mbius strip? To get to the same side.
Continue ReadingNever lie to an x-ray tec …
Never lie to an x-ray technician. They can see right through you.
Continue ReadingMy neighbour from Prague, …
My neighbour from Prague, turned up uninvited at my party at home. He brought all his friends and family and my house ended up full of Czechs. It took 3-5 working days to clear them.
Continue ReadingNo facebook I don’t want …
No facebook I don’t want to use your friend finder, if I had friends to find I would be outside with them not sitting at my computer on facebook
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