My wife told me she can’t …
My wife told me she can’t stand being with me anymore… So I cut her legs off.
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I think I’ve been spendin …
I think I’ve been spending too long on the internet. Every time I meet a Nigerian I immediately say, “Sorry to hear about your father.”
Continue ReadingI am so glad Mc Donalds d …
I am so glad Mc Donalds doesn’t sell Hot Dogs. I just don’t think I could order a “Mc Weiner” and then ask them to Super size it.
Continue ReadingAfternoons really drag wo …
Afternoons really drag working in this Jewellers Shop. It seems like it’s been 10 to 2 for ever!
Continue ReadingMy mate manages a footbal …
My mate manages a football team, and when I asked him how things were going this season and he said “Alright, I just need one more player to help all of the black players gel together, any suggestions?” I replied “Pascal Chimp-bonder”
Continue ReadingMy baby daughter has star …
My baby daughter has started stealing cheesy pop CD’s. She’s just taken her first steps.
Continue ReadingTrees seem very popular, …
Trees seem very popular, They’ve got branches everywhere!
Continue ReadingI’m getting bored with ou …
I’m getting bored with our local silk worm wrestling contest. It always ends in a tie.
Continue ReadingLittle Johnny is in schoo …
Little Johnny is in school and it is near christmas time so the kids are giving presents to the teacher. Little Ross stands up to give his present. The teacher knows his parents are choclatiers. She takes the wrapped present and says, “This is a box of chocolates isn’t it?”. Ross says, “Yes miss how […]
Continue ReadingI wonder if the first per …
I wonder if the first person to pop a can of Pringles has stopped yet…
Continue ReadingFriends facebook status: …
Friends facebook status: Rachel Briggs I’ll b getting my tissues out tonight cos it’s the kids christmas performance 😉 You’re not the only one love…….
Continue ReadingI saw a girl with a poste …
I saw a girl with a poster that read: Diagnosed with Bipolar. Can’t work. Please help. I told my mate not to give her anything, she might not be happy about it.
Continue ReadingI always get aroused afte …
I always get aroused after showers. In fact, they’re the main reason I teach P.E.
Continue ReadingI made a Staggering disco …
I made a Staggering discovery the other day. You get home from the pub a lot slower that way.
Continue ReadingGet my coat, you’ve pulle …
Get my coat, you’ve pulled a chauvinist.
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