RIP to Steve Jobs, who al …
RIP to Steve Jobs, who always lived life to the macs.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I once knew a girl who wo …
I once knew a girl who wore her bra so tight that she started to think she was a man eventually she completely forgot she was ever a girl Her therapist says she has repressed mammaries.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend warned me t …
My girlfriend warned me that if I got her one more stupid gift then she would burn it, so I got her a candle. That showed her.
Continue ReadingI helped the guy next doo …
I helped the guy next door set up his new wireless broadband yesterday – he hasn’t got a clue about computers. It’s really quick though, we’re both pleased with it.
Continue ReadingHow far do racist maratho …
How far do racist marathoners have to run? Only 3 k’s.
Continue ReadingMy science teacher asked …
My science teacher asked me to compose a sentence containing the words “Cosmic ray” I said “I’m wearing my blue jumper, cosmic ray one is in the wash.
Continue Reading99% of people in this wor …
99% of people in this world are Stupid. Luckily I’m the other 2%.
Continue ReadingMy wife always smashes up …
My wife always smashes up our furniture when she’s depressed. She’s a shelf-harmer.
Continue Reading“Man hits woman with a la …
“Man hits woman with a large metal kitchen appliance after creases in his favourite shirt.” That’s has irony written all over it.
Continue ReadingI was sunbathing the othe …
I was sunbathing the other day with my kids. Then my son poured something down my back. “This will make you brown” He said I said to him “What is it?” He said “Gravy!”
Continue Reading“British girl, 9, killed …
“British girl, 9, killed in rafting tragedy in Turkey” No Google, that’s not what I was asking for when I searched for ‘watersports with underage girls’.
Continue ReadingI bought the wife a diamo …
I bought the wife a diamond ring today as a present, but instead of being happy, she started getting ethical with me. “I hope a little African boy didn’t spend 18 hours down a dark mine for this,” she said. “Don’t be silly,” I said, “He was a grown man and he got it out […]
Continue ReadingA mobile phone video of a …
A mobile phone video of a man being repeatedly tasered by officers is being investigated by the police watchdog. The man who took the video said he was completely shocked and stunned by what he saw.
Continue ReadingJust remember to turn a b …
Just remember to turn a blind eye and have a bit of sympathy for a Chav driving around with 8 people in his car … He even needs all those mates to back him up down the drive.
Continue ReadingI bought an old Snoopy an …
I bought an old Snoopy annual at the bookstore. The wrapper on it said, “May Contain Peanuts”.
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