I just heard that Canada …
I just heard that Canada has stopped producing pennies. It just doesn’t make any cents.
Continue ReadingI just heard that Canada has stopped producing pennies. It just doesn’t make any cents.
Continue ReadingI don’t know why the word “purposeless” is in the English language. My dictionary says it has no meaning.
Continue ReadingGenetics has taught us one very important thing: Every girl you meet is a double crosser.
Continue ReadingMy wife and her baby talk is killing me. I wish she would speak like an adult.
Continue ReadingMy dad never loved me as a child. I can’t blame him really. I wasn’t born until he was an adult.
Continue ReadingI love surprising my wife. Especially since her heart attack.
Continue ReadingI would learn to play guitar, but there are too many strings attached.
Continue ReadingI lend people money if they agree to be my friend. I’m a bit of a loaner.
Continue ReadingI have spent the last few days in Amersham, a town in Buckinghamshire and had a great time. It’s just like Amsterdam, only with less STDs.
Continue ReadingIt was only when I woke up inside a coffin under 6ft of soil that I realised I was in grave danger.
Continue ReadingMy mate told me he’s been beating up sea fish….. sounds like cods-wallop to me
Continue ReadingPeople who don’t smile into mirrors are generally frowned upon.
Continue ReadingI’ve got a new job selling mansized Kleenex on the high street. The sales pitch is easy. “Big Tissue!”
Continue ReadingA naked man told me I’m going to die tomorrow It was a stark warning
Continue ReadingI have successfully made a group of lemurs brain-damaged. The plot thickens.
Continue Reading