I saw a tree standing all …
I saw a tree standing all by itself in the middle of some fields. I thought, ‘That doesn’t look poplar’.
Continue ReadingI saw a tree standing all by itself in the middle of some fields. I thought, ‘That doesn’t look poplar’.
Continue ReadingThe Arabian inventor of the bullet-proof vehicle died today. R.I.P. Ahmed Carr
Continue ReadingI was thinking about visiting a nearby castle. But it’s only a fort.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend left me because I wouldn’t let her ride in my time machine. I’ll never take her back.
Continue ReadingA contestant accused me of being an unfair gameshow host. Point taken.
Continue ReadingI’m very happy with my golf handicap. I know it’s a strangename, but Volkswagen do make a quality car.
Continue ReadingA man was beaten to death by rival gang members after taking a wrong turn. It was a nasty way to go.
Continue ReadingI’ve been a captain in the army for ten years now and simply refuse to get promoted further. They say I’ve got major issues.
Continue ReadingMy son and daughter were arguing over who’s turn it was to play with the spirograph, but it was going nowhere. They just kept going round in circles.
Continue ReadingSometimes when I’m bored, I like to stand empty pizza boxes upright in a line and knock them over, like they’re Dominos.
Continue ReadingMy Social Worker has said she will get me back to work “By Hook or by Crook”. If I’m honest, I’d prefer Piracy over Sheep Farming.
Continue ReadingI just bought an alcoholic ginger beer. He wasn’t pleased.
Continue ReadingI really need to stop talking to inanimate objects. Note to shelf.
Continue ReadingI was watching some thick, dark clouds on TV the other day… Just before the watershed.
Continue ReadingI bought a dog whistle, but it’s rubbish. Whenever I put it in his mouth, he just starts dribbling.
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